Monday, July 15, 2013

I'm sorry

I apologize for everything I am and all that I'm not.

I'm sorry for all the things you've done for me that I might not ever be able to do for you. All the good morning and good night wishes you say, with so much feelings and meanings that I, reply with just the way I know I should. I'm sorry I don't call you cute names, I don't want to call you what I've used once on someone else. I know I don't have much to say and I'm sorry, I've just said too much in the past that I'm left with nothing. I can't think of anything sweet to say that I actually mean and I'm sorry if I don't make you feel special, I don't know how to anymore and I'm not that kind to reuse all the things I've said to each of my ex (s) back to you. Because I find it impossible to feel the same way because we're all different people with different characteristics and specialty. And I'm not gonna put you on the same level of any of them. I'm sorry you came into my life at times like this; times where I have nothing left; times when I've already lost myself. I'm sorry I'm so sad and and the happiness I bring won't last long.

I'm sorry if I reply you late. I'm sorry you have to put up with me. I'm sorry I don't believe in almost anything anymore and I'd probably push you away because in my head one day you'll get tired and I'm waiting for the day where you'll leave and I am sorry for that. I'm even more sorry that I don't trust myself; I'm sorry if one day I might be the one to leave. I'm sorry you try to make me happy but can't. I'm sorry if I've ever made you feel like I don't love you. I'm sorry I don't know how to be around people and I'm sorry how I forgot how it's like to actually be in a relationship or to be a "girlfriend". I'm sorry if I've ever made you feel like I could be happier with someone else by the way I talk to other guys. I'm sorry we can't meet much and I'm sorry if it seems like I'm not putting any effort at all.

And I'm sorry if sometimes it seems like I don't care because I don't know how to or how to show that I do because I just, sometimes, have moments where I don't care about anything and anyone especially myself. I'm sorry sometimes I get so cold and I just want to get away from everyone. I'm sorry sometimes I'm unsure of how I feel. I'm sorry sometimes the feeling suddenly disappear and I get sick of myself and I'm sorry how sometimes I forget how I feel about you, that I don't even know what I feel because, I just don't feel. I'm sorry I have my moments where I ignore you or everyone around. I'm sorry you might just love me more that I could love you or even myself. I'm sorry that I wish you would leave me because you deserve so much better and all that I'm gonna bring is heartache and that I might never feel content because I've gotten to that point where nothing could help me because I'm just too depress.

I'm also sorry, you have to read this x

No comments:

Post a Comment